Unconditional love

This morning I had my most unprepared moment as a Mom...and that is saying a lot.  Caroline and I were getting ready to have lunch with one of my friends and then we were heading to her new school for Open House to meet her teachers. Caroline wanted to wear a beaded bracelet around her ankle. (I'm not kidding.) I told her she could wear it like that at home but not when we were going somewhere. I gave her two choices: put the bracelet on your wrist where it belongs or put it back in your jewelry box. The crying that followed was in no way proportionate to the subject of the discussion...not even close. Meanwhile I'm finishing putting on my makeup and she is in her room.

Five minutes later, Caroline walked into the bathroom and handed me her GloDoodle that she has written the following on: "IDYU". I said "Oh does that say I love you?" (she writes "IYU" on everything so I assumed she just made a mistake by putting the letter D in there.) She shook her head no. Then I get it. "Caroline, does that mean I don't love you?" to which she shook her head yes. (Secretly, I was impressed that she thought to put the D in there to represent "don't" -  but that is beside the point.)

Hmm. How am I supposed to handle this? I was heartbroken and in shock, all at the same time. First of all, I took the GloDoodle away and informed her she can't play with it for a week because we only use it to write kind things on. But then I was puzzled. I sent her to her room so I could collect my thoughts.  It took me a few minutes to appreciate that Caroline felt comfortable expressing her feelings to me, even in writing, and that a four year old doesn't understand the gravity of saying "I don't love you."

We ended up having a discussion in which she told me she wrote that because she was mad at me (again, this is all about her wanting to wear an anklet). So we talked about how love doesn't change and that even when we get upset, mad, frustrated, etc at each other we always love each other....no matter what. She ended up crying so hard and saying "Mommy, I'm so sorry" over and over again. It made me realize we take for granted that our kids know that we love them no matter what...but that's a really big concept for a child to grasp. 

So while I thought our day was headed in a bad direction, I ended up being thankful that I was able to teach Caroline about unconditional love today. As my Mom told me, if I had been working today and she had been in daycare, I would have missed the opportunity to teach Caroline about what love truly means.

On another note, at lunch she wrote "IYU" over and over again on her notebook while I was talking to my friend and kept holding it up for me to see. I love this kid...unconditionally.